my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
