you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
