she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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