the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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