I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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