I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
