OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
