You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
