He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
