I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
