Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
