is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
