I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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