do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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