I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
