I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
