i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
