the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
