Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
