There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
