i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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