my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i will never coherently bang her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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