you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
