...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
