connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
