Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
