Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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