Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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