Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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