Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
