nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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