His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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