yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
