Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
