So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I am morally bankrupt
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
