And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
