batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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