You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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