Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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