I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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