Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
