I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
