I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
