im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
