Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
