he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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