i barfeds in our rink
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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