My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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