One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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