with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
